Open Thread: Oracle Hotline

[mithen]

So. How are you? Are you taking care of yourself? Have you been able to write anything? I sat down yesterday and made lifeless, deadwood words appear on my screen for a little while, then deleted them because the idea of love conquering all seemed like nothing but a cruel joke. Maybe some other day. I'd love to hear that you've been able to create something, though!

Comments

[prince0froses]

I haven't been able to write anything yet, but it's not for lack of wanting to or being at all disillusioned with the idea of love conquering all. In fact, quite the opposite. I feel like right now our only hope lies in love and creativity and shoving our happy endings down the throats of everyone who would deny them to us. It's needed now more than ever.

I am physically sick from anxiety and terror pretty much constantly. I tried to write for the D&D campaign today and pretty much everything in my head was white noise. I'm still in the self care phase. But as a queer trans and disabled American, that's OK right now.

I don't intend to stay there long. I'm more determined than ever to continue my work - in fact, I am now determined to say 'fuck it' regarding the physical injury that has kept me from writing and press onward. In fact, I intend to revise slightly. My guilt about writing the 'fluffy' parts has pretty much been eliminated now. Because while the world has too many love stories where the cis white man gets the cis white girl...that doesn't feature in my story. The kind of fluff and smut I write is necessary now, more than ever, because in the real world those happy endings are at risk of being stolen from us by a vice president elect who thinks we need electroshock therapy to be cured and an apathetic rapist president elect who will let him have his way.

It is now not just my life goal to write. It is my moral duty, to try to get this thing ready for audiences, so I can give other people like me a happy ending. I'm not going to push myself too hard, I know my limits. But there's a fire in me now. I'm going to strip some of the darker themes from the work - not too many, triumph in the face of adversity is better than just plain triumph from a narrative standpoint. But we need escapist fiction and we need it now. We needed it two days ago. I have no desire anymore to remind readers that someone is always going to try to hurt them - I want to give them a window to a world where it's going to be okay.

So, no. Not yet. I'm sorry I can't tell you that I've made anything yet. But as soon as my literal physical disabilities (the anxiety, not the arm) are finished stopping me, I swear that nothing else will. My words are needed.

[mithen]

Sorry to be so slow responding! I am starting to take back some of the real estate in my brain, but it's a slow process. This comment made me feel a lot better, though I worry about your arm and your health still! But I really appreciate your thoughts about making a world where things will be okay, where the marginalized will be heard and will persevere and even triumph. It's a good goal and worth a lot of risk for.

[me_ya_ri]

*hugs you* I'm... mildly numb. Well, other than my head. I keep getting headaches. But I am writing because I have to finish this book before I go to Japan on the 19th and I won't stop until I do. But then writing a romance with a black Muslim hero and a nonbinary intersexed more or less Latinx hero(ine) is in itself a big middle finger at the election. *wry smile*

Just tired and depressed and working on getting my optimism back. At least I'm seeing lots and lots of people moving from anger into activism on Tumblr. That's very encouraging to see.

I think we'll survive over here. It's going to suck but there's a lot of people who want to stop his policies in his tracks. And even more people who are already working hard to help those who need it. Though I am, utterly and completely, avoiding all mainstream news sites. I do not need that crap.

*more hugs* I hope you get your inspiration back, sweetie. Love really does conquer all. Sometimes it just has to fight through some really bad times and very black moments to get there.

[mithen]

Your writing is the best and most creative middle finger ever, and I'm honestly just proud to be associated with you in any way.

The spite writing has been going better! Right now I'm just kind of... exhausted by worry and trying to make sure I don't start taking this new reality as somehow normal or inevitable. There's going to be stuff we can do, stuff we HAVE to do, so we're not totally helpless. So we prepare ourselves for action when we can, and we write what we can! (Who knows, maybe my story about two guys voice-acting animated penguins will make someone smile. It's worth a shot). Thank you for the encouraging words, they mean a lot.