mithen: (Batman Loves You)
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This week, as promised: What's your favorite line of dialogue from a current WiP?

Ha ha, the funny thing is when it asked for narration a couple of weeks ago I was all "No, my dialogue is better!" But this week I went to find a bit of dialogue and OF COURSE now all my favorite WiP sections are narration. Anyway, here is a bit, which is not as dark as it sounds out of context:

“I wonder how you look with your eyes dark with fear.” Bruce’s murmur seemed to wander down his spine like silky claws. “Fear or desire, they can be so hard to tell apart sometimes. I wonder how you look with your fingers trembling.”

I'm frustrated also because the latest and penultimate chapter of my non-superhero WiP is twice as long as all the other chapters, but I cannot for the life of me figure out a way to either condense it or break it up. There are flashbacks at the beginning and they're important for the whole chapter, and there is a LOT of emotional unpacking that absolutely must happen. I know I should just suck it up and post all 6,000 words of it, but I hate having one chapter be really unbalanced from the others.

How are things going with you? Share some dialogue and maybe how you handle mismatched chapters?

Date: 2016-04-08 02:18 am (UTC)
me_ya_ri: white lotus flower on green water with reflection in the water (Default)
From: [personal profile] me_ya_ri
It's more than one line because I love this whole little passage but here you go:

"You know," Tommy said as he walked in with Master Boles behind him, "you made one mistake in all of this."

"Tommy," Ryan said, laughed a little, tried a slightly wider smile. "Come on. You know this is illegal. I'm a DSPA agent. You can't just throw me in a cell this way. Master Boles, you know that. You don't break the law. Everyone knows it."

"Just one mistake," Tommy continued as if Ryan, no Pyro, hadn't spoken. "I wouldn't be this angry if you had gone after Emma. She doesn't mean that much to me and frankly, she's got Master Harper protecting her. I wouldn't have been angry at all if you targeted me. I've been expecting it."

He sauntered over to hop up onto the edge of the table with all the tools. That made Pyro twist his head around so that he could see Tommy. Master Boles leaned against the door, arms crossed over his chest as he smiled benignly at Tommy. And of course Berta loomed over Pyro. What else would she do? It was Berta.

"Come on, Tommy," Pyro said, laughed a little but it came out shaky and afraid. "You're not convincing me here."

"I don't need to convince you of anything," Tommy said. He smiled. "You see, you made one teeny, tiny, little mistake. You went after Jay. You went after Jay and you did it in an obvious way. You indulged yourself with Jay. It wasn't even a mistake that I would have caught. Or Master Boles or anyone else. No, you made the mistake with Jay. What did Black tell you, that time when you wanted to burn a net into my back?"

"…'Your lack of impulse control is going to destroy you'," Pyro whispered.

*evil author grin*

Looks like we both chose spots of darkness because Berta and Tommy follow this up with torturing Pyro. And then Tommy gets sick once he's back safe in his room. *pets him*

Extra long chapters can be such a pain. Sometimes I'll just split it halfway through but other times I just shrug and leave it as it is. I'd say just post the whole thing since you say that it's all one piece. Readers shouldn't mind. More of your awesome writing, right?

Things are going very well for me. I have three chapters left on the Second Chances challenge, which is kind of amazing. I wrote 19K last week and I'm already at 20K this week with every expectation that I'll finish the last 3 chapters of the book this week. Maybe by Saturday.

But then I have a 3-10K short story to write before next Friday for my Romance Workshop, 2 books to finish reading, a novel to publish today/tomorrow and well, I'm kinda vibrating at having so much to do. But at least the challenge is going well, right? O.O

Good luck on your writing!

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