It's been ages and with the state I'm in I'm not really up for a lot of complicated thought (my days consist of sitting in odd postures and dully watching something to drown out the pain), but character studies are my catnip.
The last thing I wrote was that dialog bit between Dade, Heerah, Sean and Dorian. Since I don't write in a linear fashion, the versions of my characters 'in my head' so to speak always know everything I know - so I'll confine their lack of knowledge to the time period the piece is set in. And since there's no clearly defined POV character, I'll throw in a tidbit for each of them.
Thing Dade does not know about himself at that time: as desperately as he wants to be romantically loved, he does not realize he is not yet ready for it (at this time). Dorian has outpaced him in emotional maturity (just doesn't show it). Also, while he tells himself that Dorian does not love him, deep down he knows otherwise. Dade isn't ready to admit that there were two sides to their emotional falling out and that he shares some of the blame for it, so he has to frame it in his mind as "Dorian doesn't love me anymore, that's why he treats me this way" so he doesn't reach the inevitable conclusion of "I've done my share of wrong in this situation, and -that-'s why he treats me this way." His inability to accept his share of the fault blinds him to the fact that Dorian is still pining.
Thing Dorian does not know about himself at this time: He is not ready to admit, to anyone, how desperately lonely he is and how much he would just love to have friends, so he doesn't admit it to himself. It's not that he -isn't- attracted to everyone he meets (he's v. textbook pansexual), but he's not as hypersexual as he lets on, and a lot of his flirting is an attempt at making social connections without exposing vulnerability. He also does not know his own emotional strength yet.
Thing Heerah does not know about herself at this time: that she is 100% gay and her attraction to men is primarily aesthetic (she still knows when a guy is sexy and voices it, she just wouldn't actually act on it). I didn't know it about her until recently either. It takes Dorian, an objectively stunning man, making a good-natured pass at her, for her to realize that "...nah, actually, I'm done with men, thanks though." and that moment hasn't happened yet.
Thing Sean doesn't know about himself at this point in time: Sean's had over 200 years to know himself, if he doesn't by now, there is no hope for him. I've sat here struggling to think of something, using his connections to others for fodder since it would be 'recent'...but nope. Sean's one of the most introspective characters in the series, he's got himself fairly figured out. The only thing I'd say is he's too hard on himself, but that's low self esteem, not self-ignorance.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2017-04-02 02:07 pm (UTC)The last thing I wrote was that dialog bit between Dade, Heerah, Sean and Dorian. Since I don't write in a linear fashion, the versions of my characters 'in my head' so to speak always know everything I know - so I'll confine their lack of knowledge to the time period the piece is set in. And since there's no clearly defined POV character, I'll throw in a tidbit for each of them.
Thing Dade does not know about himself at that time: as desperately as he wants to be romantically loved, he does not realize he is not yet ready for it (at this time). Dorian has outpaced him in emotional maturity (just doesn't show it). Also, while he tells himself that Dorian does not love him, deep down he knows otherwise. Dade isn't ready to admit that there were two sides to their emotional falling out and that he shares some of the blame for it, so he has to frame it in his mind as "Dorian doesn't love me anymore, that's why he treats me this way" so he doesn't reach the inevitable conclusion of "I've done my share of wrong in this situation, and -that-'s why he treats me this way." His inability to accept his share of the fault blinds him to the fact that Dorian is still pining.
Thing Dorian does not know about himself at this time: He is not ready to admit, to anyone, how desperately lonely he is and how much he would just love to have friends, so he doesn't admit it to himself. It's not that he -isn't- attracted to everyone he meets (he's v. textbook pansexual), but he's not as hypersexual as he lets on, and a lot of his flirting is an attempt at making social connections without exposing vulnerability. He also does not know his own emotional strength yet.
Thing Heerah does not know about herself at this time: that she is 100% gay and her attraction to men is primarily aesthetic (she still knows when a guy is sexy and voices it, she just wouldn't actually act on it). I didn't know it about her until recently either. It takes Dorian, an objectively stunning man, making a good-natured pass at her, for her to realize that "...nah, actually, I'm done with men, thanks though." and that moment hasn't happened yet.
Thing Sean doesn't know about himself at this point in time: Sean's had over 200 years to know himself, if he doesn't by now, there is no hope for him. I've sat here struggling to think of something, using his connections to others for fodder since it would be 'recent'...but nope. Sean's one of the most introspective characters in the series, he's got himself fairly figured out. The only thing I'd say is he's too hard on himself, but that's low self esteem, not self-ignorance.